There are many excellent blog entries in the Androsphere and often many more excellent follow up remarks in the comments section that often deserve to become blog entries themselves. One of these comments that caught my attention is repeated below. It brings to the forefront the issue of wasted energy, wasted time.
Time and energy is extremely precious and valuable. You only have one life (averaging around 27,000 days) and thus a finite supply of time and energy. Invest your time and energy in endeavours that stand some chance of succeeding. Learn to avoid wasting it on pointless endeavours and unreasonable people. Particularly speciously reasonable people: those who 'appear' to be reasonable, and may make tactical concessions in an argument to keep your attention, but at base are totally unreasonable, and may more accurately be described as 'impossible'. I'm sure you've all come across the occasion when trying to reason with a woman or effeminate man and you just find them completely 'impossible'. Don't waste your time with them. It ain't worth it.
Credit to 'Piercedhead' over at The Spearhead for this one.
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November 4, 2010 at
“I have another question”
Notice the difference between Julie’s comments and the rest. What I’ve just quoted is the essence of it. Other commenters are simply saying what they think about the opinion piece, or expressing an opinion about some topic that someone else has raised.
Julie doesn’t do this. She asks questions. Because she gets to ask whatever question she likes, this potentially gives her power to manipulate a conversation.
Consider that many of us are here solely because we know The Spearhead will feature items of interest to men. We are receptive to the authors here, and the other commenters. We allow what they say to seed our thinking, because we want to think more deeply about and broadly about anything relating to our better interest.
But there is a flaw in our desire to absorb and expand the ideas of others so readily, and Julie is exploiting it. As soon as she starts asking questions, she sets the agenda. She has taken control of your mental real-estate as surely as any squatter moving into your house. And by responding to her, you are saying ‘I accept your direction’.
Her questions are designed to lead you to a paradox – which can easily be done in the discussion of anything – and in the process she will inflame passions with goading and provocative language. Whatever it is that you want to talk about will not be given a chance – you will be too busy doing her bidding (ie considering and arguing against whatever question she originally posed).
Be aware of these simple tricks. Your time and mental energy are valuable resources – arguably more valuable than anything else you have. Thieves are everywhere.
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