There were a couple of comments on different posts over at Chateau Heartiste a month or two ago that alluded to/said that womens experience of sex is spiritual, or almost spiritual. I've tried to understand why. The idea that came to mind was that woman experience a great sense of guilt during coitus (if she is passive and in the missionary position, and doing it with someone she is totally loves/is submitted to), for reasons that I don't really understand. Then I came up with a sequence of events and accompanying emotions that a woman might experience before, during and after coitus.
(NB Faith, hope and willfulness are considered here in logical terms i.e. faith = options, hope = believing the best option will happen, willfulness = doing something because you want to. The dualistic opposite of this should be: fatalsim, pessimism, apathy. Thus it follows that the less faith, hope and willfulness you have, the more fatalism, pessimism and apathy you should have).
1. The woman meets a man in an environment, and state of mind, where she is very confident and sure of herself.
[She feels a high level of faith, hope and wilfullness. She is very expressive and confident in her manner, both verbally and physically e.g. in body language and dress.]
2. The woman is wrenched away from anything that provides her with confidence, be that a physical environment or a mental environment, by either mental or physical means (e.g. disdain for her beliefs which her world view is dependent on).
[She feels a decreasing level of faith, hope and wilfullness. Becomes less expressive verbally and physically e.g. her arms and legs are less than rigid, the strength of her voice falters]
3. The woman is subjected to a force by the man, either physical or mental, that despite some preliminary resistance by her cannot be overcome.
[She feels a further decreasing level of faith, hope and wilfulness. Her body begins to curl in on itself, both physically and mentally. She tries to protect the soft/fleshy/female interior in a passive way.]
4. The woman is continually subjected to a force that she stands no chance of resisting.
[She feels almost no level of faith, hope or wilfulness. She is curled up in the foetal position, both physically and mentally. She is without any feelings at all. Her desire to protect the soft/fleshy/internal/female part of her is purely instinctive.]
5. The woman is repeatedly subjected to the external force that totally overwhelms and consequently destroys them either mentally and/or physically.
[She feels no level of faith, hope or wilfulness. Her mind and body have become accepting of the external force and it's inevitability, becomes limp and opens up accordingly.]
6. After a brief few seconds of pause, the woman is shown the gentlest affection by her former tormentor in simple/uncomplex actions, (no verbiage).
[After sitting rock-bottom, she feels an increasing level of faith, hope and wilfulness, which are entirely focussed on the man who is giving her affection. Remember that all of her former confidence was destroyed by the man, and so he presently provides the only source of confidence to the woman. She still remembers that he destroyed her mentally/physically just a few moments ago, and it is that contrast (the ability to be both violently destructive, and to be gently loving) that fills her with love for the man for this simple reason: She knows that he could destroy her any time he wanted, but chooses not to.]
7. The act of coitus begins. All of her muscles are still completely limp (in total dualistic contrast to the mans who are all tensed up).
[She has feelings of passive-acceptance.]
8. After a few minutes, although her body is largely limp, some of her facial muscles tense and show expression: upward, central incline of eyebrows (forming a curved arrowhead shape), mouth slightly open. Her lachrymal ducts produce tears of sadness; though I don't know why. Both her eyelids and mouth are predominantly open during this time. She doesn't make eye contact with, or look at the man.
[She feels guilt for having done something wrong. Again, I don't know why, I just have this feeling in my head that that's what she feels.]
9. Climax. The body curves so that the interior (female, soft, front etc) is dominant over the exterior (male, hard, back etc). (The climax is the physically-creative equivalent to the mentally-creative epiphany, moment of creative thought, problem solving,
10. Immediate post-climax.
[She has feelings of relief, and passing away of feelings of guilt and sadness.]
11. She makes sustained eye contact with the man. The lachrymal ducts open.
[She feels The anti-pode of sadness (within the context of crying): Joy; which causes the tears to flow freely.]
12. They swap body positions and he (now completely drained of energy) lays on his back with her on top (though her body is not perfectly aligned with his).
[The feelings of passive-acceptance that occurred during the early stages of coitus are replaced with feelings of active and willing acceptance.]
Some of the relationship between the man and the woman during sex is the same as a woman and a child during childbirth:
During coitus the man is tense, the woman is relaxed. [During childbirth the woman is tense the baby is relaxed.]
During Coitus the man is in control, the woman is controlled. [During childbirth the woman is in control the baby is controlled.]
After Coitus the man is exhausted, the woman is embraced by him. [After childbirth the woman is exhausted, the baby is embraced by her.]
And it could be there is the same relationship between God/s (Gods as intentions, character traits, states of mind) and men, as there is between man and woman, and also between woman and child. And if the experience is the same as between Gods and man, as between man and woman, then that would explain why woman regard sex as spiritual, much as men regard epiphanies, Zen moments etc as spiritual.
A God give his energy to a man during enlightenment and then feels exhausted.
A Man gives his energy to a woman during coitus and then feels exhausted.
A Woman gives her energy to a baby during childbirth and then feels exhausted.
There is a related post over at 'A Guide for a Young Patriarch.':